Fear of Missing Out

Sometimes we think, "If only that hadn't happened, things would be different." This is a futile mental affliction. Nothing stops or starts solely because one thing happened or didn't. If that hadn't occurred, something else would have. If it weren't this way, it would be that way. Today, we see a crowd of people everywhere suffering from FOMO. Anyone who can distance themselves from this is truly happy; they remain composed and steady in every circumstance.

Defining FOMO: The Modern Anxiety

FOMO stands for Fear of Missing Out. In Nepali, it can be described as the fear of being left behind. It is a psychological state where a person feels anxious that others are having rewarding experiences while they are being excluded.

This disorder is deeply rooted in modern digital culture. On social media, people typically share only the successful, joyful, or attractive moments of their lives. This creates a distorted perception of reality for other users, making them feel that everyone else’s life is more interesting and successful than their own. This constant comparison erodes self-satisfaction and breeds discontent.

The Mirage of Social Media Success

Consider the Nepalese diaspora: What kind of photos do they post? What do they write? If you look closely, 99% of posts are about traveling to new places, gatherings, celebrations, dining out, professional milestones, or buying houses and cars. To an observer, it looks like a perfect, prosperous life.

While there is nothing wrong with their happiness, the problem starts when we compare our own lives to theirs. That is when a sense of despair begins to settle in our hearts.

The Burden of National Concern

Sometimes we feel the country isn't running right, or the leaders are failing. While intellectual debate and logical arguments are healthy, there is no need to make this a primary source of personal anxiety. Is running the country solely our individual burden? What position do we hold?

It is right to say those in responsibility should perform their duties. If they don't, it is fair to express opinions based on facts in the appropriate forums. However, we must distinguish between what is in our control and what isn't. Some situations are our responsibility; most are not. What is meant to happen will happen. We should try to improve things where we can, but where we cannot, we should not grieve. If we already knew a situation was out of our hands, why remain unhappy about it?

The Evolution and Impact of FOMO

A Historical and Academic Context

The idea that we might be missing out on a "better time" is not new, but its formal study began only a few decades ago. It gained psychological prominence through a 1996 research paper by marketing strategist Dr. Dan Herman, who first coined the term.

While social media has positive aspects, it has also created a "platform for boasting." It is a space where happiness itself feels like a competition. No matter how much we deny it, constant exposure to these posts forces us to think about what we lack.

The Vulnerability of Youth

Teenagers are the highest users of social media. A 2023 Gallup poll reported that over half of American teens spend at least four hours a day on apps like Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, Facebook, and X. At this age, they are highly susceptible to "upward social comparison." Consequently, FOMO can have a powerful and often devastating impact on their mental well-being.

Research published in the Journal of Psychiatry Research shows that FOMO is linked to excessive smartphone use regardless of age or gender. Everyone, across all professions and lifestyles, faces stress. Success and struggle coexist everywhere. The difference is that some people show their pain, while most do not. Many prefer to walk tall even when struggling—sharing problems only with a trusted inner circle. This is a healthy boundary, but when we compare our "behind-the-scenes" with their "highlight reel," our anxiety spikes.

Psychological Insights and the Path to JOMO

The Root Causes

According to Professor Andrew Przybylski (Oxford Internet Institute), FOMO is a state where people feel others are having valuable experiences from which they are absent. His 2013 study found that FOMO thrives when a person’s basic psychological needs—social relatedness, competence, and autonomy—are not being met in real life.

FOMO to JOMO

To live a healthy life, we must reduce FOMO. The remedies include:

• Limiting social media time.

• Focusing on our current tasks rather than others' activities.

• Tracking our own progress instead of comparing ourselves to others.

• Practicing JOMO (Joy of Missing Out)—finding happiness in being exactly where you are, even if you are "missing" something else.

Acceptance as the Cure

The diagnosis is half the cure. Once a person realizes they are falling into this behavioral pattern, they can take steps to protect themselves. Awareness is the first stage of healing.

The world does not stop because someone is absent. When a loved one passes away, the grief is profound and natural. But when the anxiety about "how will life go on without them" becomes overwhelming, it turns into a disorder. There are always alternatives. Life may be difficult for a few days, but the pace of the world does not stop. It moves forward, and so must we.

Ultimately, true stability comes when we realize that while we can influence our efforts, we cannot control the universe's grand design. Focus on the hand you've been dealt, and the fear of the "other" will fade.