Many years ago, I shared a story on this blog that haunted me for days. The grief was so intense it disrupted my daily life. I want to briefly revisit that moment before moving into today’s core topic.
Today’s subject is heavy, rooted in the curriculum of psychology. While textbooks can be dry, this is a conversation we must have.
A Memory That Lingers
Years ago, a prominent Nepali journalist (who later entered politics) posted a photo on Facebook wearing a Daura-Suruwal and Dhaka Topi, writing about how the attire reflected nationality. My younger brother, who was living in London at the time, commented on the post, arguing that clothing doesn't define nationality. He cited legendary figures like Gopal Yonjan and Udit Narayan to make his point.
He messaged me on Messenger: "Check that post and read my comment." I did.
"Great point, Kanchha ! That was sharp," I replied. Whether he saw the message or not, I don't remember, but he never replied. After waiting a while, I moved on with my work.
The next morning, I got a call from my elder brother in Kathmandu: "Kanchha committed suicide."
It turned out that while we were chatting, he had stepped out of his room and hanged himself. He had been under immense stress; he hadn't found the job he wanted in London, even though his wife’s career was going well. He was on medication for depression, struggling to find a way out. That evening, he was alone.
Years have passed. His widow has likely moved on with her life. Relatives rarely mention him anymore. But today, I want to discuss that "terrible thought"—the impulse that crosses almost everyone's mind at least once, yet only a few tragically act upon. Life is priceless; there is no undoing death. Why the rush to leave?
Why Do These Thoughts Arise?
In psychology, we learn that suicidal ideation is not necessarily a sign of a "weak" person; it is a serious mental health crisis with complex roots.
Mental Illness: Depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, and schizophrenia significantly increase risk. Depression is the leading factor, as it traps the individual in a cycle of infinite pain.
Life Stressors: Major upheavals like the death of a loved one, divorce, financial ruin, or job loss can weaken one's mental fortitude.
Social Isolation: Loneliness, bullying, or domestic violence can make life feel unbearable.
Past Trauma: Childhood abuse or surviving a disaster can leave deep scars that manifest as suicidal thoughts later in life.
Identity Struggles: Issues regarding body image, gender identity, or sexual orientation often lead to isolation and stress.
Psychological Perspectives
Social Theory (Emile Durkheim): Durkheim argued that suicide is a social phenomenon. When social bonds weaken and an individual feels disconnected from society, the risk increases.
Frustration-Aggression Theory: When a person fails to reach their goals, frustration turns into aggression. If this aggression cannot be directed outward, it turns inward, leading to self-harm.
Cognitive Theory: This focuses on "tunnel vision." The individual sees the future as entirely dark and believes suicide is the only logical solution to end the pain.
Treatment and Prevention
The most effective way to stop these thoughts is through professional counseling and medical treatment.
Psychiatric Consultation: Psychiatrists can identify underlying conditions and prescribe medication to balance brain chemistry.
Counseling (Psychotherapy): Therapy helps individuals reframe negative thoughts and develop healthy coping mechanisms.
Support Systems: Simply telling a trusted friend or family member, "I'm not okay," can provide immense relief.
Self-Care: Healthy sleep, diet, and exercise are the first line of defense. As the saying goes, "You are your own first doctor."
The Alarming Reality
According to the World Health Organization (2022), Nepal’s suicide rate is 11.6 per 100,000 people—higher than many South Asian neighbors. Tragically, it is the fourth leading cause of death among those aged 15–19 globally.
What the Experts Say
Talk it Out: Don't suppress your feelings. Speak to someone you trust.
Recognize the Signs: If someone talks about being a "burden," gives away prized possessions, or suddenly withdraws, take it seriously.
Access Help: Seeking help is not a weakness; it is an act of self-love.
Resources in Nepal (Hotline Numbers)
If you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out to these confidential services:
Government Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1166 (24/7)
TPO Nepal: 16600102005
CMC Nepal: 16600185080
Koshish Nepal: 16600122322
Mental Health Helpline: 16600133666
'Where you are, be there completely.' This doesn't just apply to being present with others, but being present for yourself. Next time you feel the darkness closing in, remember: you are not alone, and help is just a phone call away.
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